A Deal with the Devils
by Joker and the Thief
Summary: One should never make a deal with the Shinigami Women's Association. Kyouraku and Ukitake are prime examples. slight Shun/Uki. An old short story lost in the archives of my livejournal. Humor, fluff. Enjoy! :)


**A/N: Tucked away in lost archives of my old livejournal account I stumbled upon some forgotten short stories I had made under the alias bluecrazed (no relation to another fanfiction author) and decided that as much as I loved these two characters I couldn't just leave my attempts to fade in time, so I posted them here. I hope you all enjoy. Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach.**

**Title: A Deal with the Devils**

**Genre: Humor**

**Rating: T for sexual references**

**Characters: Kyouraku, Ukitake**

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**A Deal with the Devils**

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"I think we've learned a valuable lesson today, Jyuushirou."

"And what would that be, Shunsui?"

"Well, my friend…I've learned to never make promises with a group full of women, because in the end you'll end up looking like us."

"Hmm…agreed."

There was a silence of understanding between the two, and Shunsui folded back his puffy white sleeves so that they didn't spill into his cup of sake as he picked it up to take a sip.

Ukitake continued to fiddle with the pink laces on his lap with his fingers. "You know…I was never given that free buffet of food like they promised me…."

"And I was never given my 72 virgins."

"Shunsui!"

"Maa, its but a weakness, Jyuu-kun. I can't help it. They tricked me as well."

Ukitake sighed and slumped his shoulders, though it was extremely uncomfortable to do with the lace collar rubbing raw against his neck. At the site of Shunsui pulling and picking at the tight black contraption they called 'leather pants' he grumbled grumpily under his breath, "We never should have agreed to pose for those stupid Shounen-ai pictures for them, Shunsui. I mean, look at where it got us! Broken promises, you in a white flutter-shirt and tight pants…"

"And you in a big pink dress." Shunsui finished with a wink.

"Yes, there's that too."

"…You know, you do look rather adorable with that bow in your hair."

"Don't push it, Shunsui."

"Just saying."

Another defeated sigh, and both men picked up their cup and inhaled another large swig of whatever potent chemicals they had at their presence.

"You know…Nemu-san sure did a good job on the dress."

"Mmm, I suppose she did. It brings out your eyes."

"And Yachiru-kun does have good taste in clothes for such a young child. That outfit does make you look rather masculine."

"I would only believe that if I had my 72 virgins to prove it."

"They were obviously lying to you, Shunsui."

"It doesn't hurt to be hopeful, Dr. Killjoy."

From the heated glare Shunsui was getting from across the table, he could tell that things were still prickly and raw from earlier. He set his cup down and laid his chin on the palm of his hand, his eyes dazing out into the background as he felt a rather pleasing speech coming on.

"But you know, Jyuu-kun. This has taught me something, and that something is about a woman's pleasure. The pleasure to see two men dressed in fantasy with the look of pure lust in their eyes, fitted for only the other. One with the feminine looks of innocence and naivety—"

"Shunsui, people are starting to stare…"

"—And the other primal and masculine, like a dominant lion protecting its small prey from the eyes of other hungry lions. And when they are finally together, their eyes are locked in a dance that only their bodies can mimic under the moonlight in the silken sheets of their bed. Truly, their tastes in passion are something to be envied for."

"Truly." Ukitake replied with a sarcastic roll of his eyes.

Shunsui nodded, taking the last gulp of his sake before setting his eyes on the site sitting in front of him. He never really noticed that the dress didn't just bring out his friend's eyes, but also the ivory color to his flesh, the soft texture of his skin, and the innocence in his eyes that only Shunsui has seen when his skilled fingers could pull off on some very cozy nights between the sheets of his futon.

"Hey, Jyuu…"

The odd change of tone had Ukitake blink and stare at Shunsui oddly. He had heard that tone before…serious with a hint of husk and possession that he's only heard from Shunsui when addressed his way.

It could only mean one thing.

"I want to get the hell out of this dress, so no I'm not wearing it tonight."

"Well, why don't I get you out of that and into something a little cozier? I know you're not a stranger to my wardrobe."

"…If you put it that way…."

Shunsui smirked. It wouldn't be long before he'd have to rip those painful pants of anyway.

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_End_

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**A/N: I have and always will think a better ending should have been written, but I will not fret. I hope you all enjoyed. Comments of all kinds are welcome. Thank you for enjoying :)**

**-JATT**


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